Have you ever given so much of yourself, that you almost begin to feel like you have nothing left to give? Yet, we are called to give of ourselves given the opportunity. When is enough actually enough? Who sets that limit? Do we set our own limits? Or should we rely on God to help with the parameters and boundaries?
Hopefully things usually work out on their own, either making it easier on both parties involved, or making a clean break... which sometimes is collateral damage if there isn't any common ground.
I have given a lot in my life. I've been stepped on, used, taken advantage of, and judged. But that doesn't change the fact that I am who I am. I do what I do. Nothing compares to a servant's heart. Many have said that it's not smart to trust people so easily, that I'll get hurt. But I am confident that my God knows my heart, knows my intentions, and I only worry about what He thinks as opposed to the many others who have put on a judgement robe.
On the flip side... I have been blessed at an indescribable level, I have been touched to my soul by some of the most extraordinary ordinary people, have worked alongside many servants of Christ, and have hopefully provided some light into those lives that so desperately need to see Him.
So why is it, that in this society we live in today, do people question intent? Characters are at stake, integrity is on the line. Do people not have any faith in humanity anymore? Are we all out to get somebody to make us look better? Is the end result for us what we are truly looking for? Be honest with yourself. Why do you do the things you do? For yourself? For others? Is it because somewhere deep inside, you have an ulterior motive? A plan? Will it make you look better? What's in it for you? Are you being selfish?
Or... Do you truly have a servant's heart? In Philippians 2:3-5, we are told to "Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but in humility count others
more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his
own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among
yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus"
How can we NOT put others before us? When is says that in humility we are to count others more significant than ourselves?
I live my life with no regrets. None. I never wish I am different than God has chosen me to be. I question Him at times, which leaves me wondering. For all the people I have met in my life, they have shaped me into who I am. Some people have been great influences, others, not so much, but each has played a significant role in my journey.
At times, I get tired of having to explain myself, defend myself, or reason with those who choose not to believe what I'm saying, or fail to understand the significance of my giving. I have been told that I am generous to a fault. I believe that you can never be generous to a fault. You can't "over give." However, you can change the way you give, what you give, and how you give it, so that the recipient won't feel overwhelmed or guilty for receiving. That's never the intent, though sometimes it has been the result. I am human. I am far from perfect, and I tend to over think things at times. But if you know me, know that what I do, when I do it, is not about me. God gets the glory. All of it.
My prayer this evening: "God, please remind me in my heart, why I do what I do, and to keep You at the center of it all. Help me communicate in a way that puts who I care about at ease. Let them feel your presence and grace. Please forgive any glimpse of doubt that I see, and help me to focus on You and Your will. Please keep my heart soft and loving and help me let go of the things I need to let go of, and live my life with purpose. Forgive me for bad decisions I have made and thoughts I have had, and sins I have committed. Thank you for the smile on my face and in my heart. Without You, life would be nothing. Bless the beautiful person reading this today, and let their heart open to see something new. In Jesus Christ's name, Amen."
Thanks to my mother for this subtle reminder...
Galatians 6:10, King
James Version (KJV) As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good
unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.
