My Choice

I choose...
To worry about myself, to pray about myself, and above all, to love myself.

I choose...
To let go of things that are out of my control, to let go of people who choose to walk, and to let God "do" more often.

I choose...
To better myself as a Christian, to remember to "love thy neighbor", to take the time to thank those who make a difference in my life.

I choose...
To keep my memories close to my heart, to share only what I feel safe sharing, and to remember what I love to do.

I choose...
To not listen to people make excuses... to make wiser decisions on who I let enter my life and who stays in my life.

I choose...
To be happy, to smile more, eat good food, exercise more, and to love those I love, with abandon, because I can.

I choose...
To forgive what I've held on to, ask forgiveness for what I need to, and try to not put myself in situations where I have to choose the better of two evils.

Defining Moment

There is nothing quite like the moment you realize that your time in someones life is complete.

Not necessarily a pretty moment, but a necessary moment to say the least. Happy and sad. God has many blessings for me that are beyond my realm of thinking. He puts me in positions that I never would put myself in. He lets me be introduced to those that I would otherwise never meet. However, when you have that defining moment that your purpose in the life of someone has come to an end, it's bittersweet. It may not be forever, but in this moment, right now, my purpose has been served.

So you are wondering how can I be so final about this decision? I feel it on my heart to help, to love, to give, and to forgive... help when I can help, love when it's warranted (and sometimes when it's not), give when it's needed, and forgive when it's called for.

I have been accused of "not living my life" when that is all I have been doing. I live my life each day, with purpose, with my heart focused on what it needs to be focused on. Whether you are part of that focus sometimes depends on you. If you wish not to be, that is your decision. But my God knows my heart, I just try to do what He wants. Sometimes it runs me ragged, makes me tired, causes tears, yet at times the ragged can be from being so full of Him that I'm happy, being tired can mean being tired of the ordinary routine, and the tears can be tears of joy. It's all how you look at it. I try to keep a positive focus, with positive thoughts about my life. Sometimes, even that is difficult.

I just hope those who I have been blessed with loving, knowing and calling my friend, at some point along my life's journey... know the impact they have made in my life. Whether it be a friend for a while, or one of little time, or just an acquaintance, there is a reason.

When a relationship/friendship ends up breaking you down instead of building you up, it's time to reevaluate the reason and purpose you are in there. It's usually not the intent, but often it happens.

But sometimes these defining moments don't make us better, they make us great. We can take what we have learned and apply forward for the rest of our lives. What a concept. Like paying it forward.

I'm not saying forget these people who were so important, or write them off, I'm saying thank them for shaping you. Thank God for allowing them to be in your life even for a moment. Look back and think of how dull and boring your life could have been without them in it.