Ephesians 3:16

I am at the point of wanting to vanish. Be alone with my thoughts, my prayers and God. Maybe shed some light on what's on my heart lately. I want to go where I can just be me. Drop the wall of expectation that I seem to run into all the time. I think I hold myself to a higher standard than I need to at times. Don't get me wrong, I love doing things for others, engulfing myself in the servant mode, feel Christ move in me... however, there are times that I just want to be alone, with my thoughts. Being alone with my thoughts usually causes me to think too much about things or over examine things going on in my life. This is a necessary part of my life. I wouldn't be myself if I didn't do this.

I need to let go of the control and independence that I seem to possess, and have excelled in the past 15 years. It's difficult for me to let someone do for me, yet so easy to do for others.

Losing a sweet friend recently, and happens when I am hit in the face with a reality check, puts life in perspective. Was looking through emails from her, and re-reading all the sweet words she wrote to me. She sent me this...

"Here is a verse that I cling to in my insecurities and what you to know that I am praying this verse to you: [Ephesians 3:16 I pray that out of His glorious riches He may strengthen you with the power through the Holy Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your heart, through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all fullness of God.] After all... it is only God's love that matters. And His love is your value. Thank goodness for His grace... Love ya, Elizabeth A. Mandola" 

My soul smiles at the message. 

I need to get lost and consumed with the grace and reverence of God.

Live life original.
Be yourself.
Enjoy the little things.
Promote prayer.
Forgive freely.
Count your blessings.

God knows your heart.
Is He smiling?