random thoughts from a different perspective.

These are just a few things going on in my head. It won't all flow together like some great editorial. :)

Enjoying a cooler state brings with it more time to think, to be, to look up and be thankful. Being at point in life where decisions are not made as hastily nor easily as they once were, provides a base of pros and cons, that I can base my future decisions.

When I take myself out of the environment that is chaotic, hurried, and outright stressful, clarity comes in the picture that I haven't fathomed.

Sometimes I feel as though I could have really lived two different lives. I LOVE the city, the "busy"ness, the non-stop presence of "things going on"... and on the other hand, if I was dealt the hand of having to live in the country (again), I would manage. There are pros and cons to each place I've been in my life, and I'm thankful for being able to just "be."

Could I visualize myself somewhere else? Of course. Will I follow through with it? Depends on the timing. ;) At this point I can pretty much choose what direction I want to go, provided I listen to God in making that decision. I can see how easily the world makes it to choose... rather than basing what I do, on what God's will is for me. I can see for someone with little faith, or no faith, how easy it would be to just live for self.

In my life, I've been accused of being selfish. And I have, at times, been guilty. I wouldn't be human if I wasn't... however, I am past the point in my life of really caring others opinions of me. I do, but I don't. I'm not going to stress out because this person or that person has an issue with me. If it's approached, it will be addressed, otherwise, I'm moving on. Might sound a little harsh, brazen...well, take it or leave it.

I have learned that most people who have told me that I am being selfish, or have acted selfish, in essence are the ones being selfish. Because I have not given into, nor taken their advice, nor reacted the way they wanted me to.

We all have choices. And free will. And when we make that choice (using that free will), we must be  face the consequence of that choice... and sometimes we are not prepared.

Disturbing view of a clip from Lakewood Church... And I am opposing Victoria Osteen's shout out that we should live for US, and God wants us to be happy... Um, no. We should live for God, and God wants us to be HOLY... Usually, our ultimate happiness is a byproduct of us being holy.

One Life

As I was going through a new album I purchased the other day, there is a song on there called "One Life"... though apparent that we have the one life, it also reminds us what to do with it. And with all the people I know who are suffering from disease, loss of loved ones, who complain about idiotic things just to complain... this song reminds us...

"Cause tomorrow isn't promised
All we have is one life, is one time
To live and love and make it right
Yesterday is written
All we have is right now, is right now
To celebrate this one and only life"

Grow Up.

Sometimes those are the two most difficult words to LIVE. Only in the most recent years have I come to realize that I'm not here to please every single person, say "yes" to every single thing, or agree with every thing I'm faced with. I do, however, must remain constant to the ONE that I am here to please, the ONE that I am to say yes to when He asks of me, and the ONE that I know will be with me during every single thing I am facing. I have grown up. Took me 40+ years, but I have come to realize that childish behavior is unnecessary in the pursuit of happiness with God. I do, understand at times, there will be some decisions that are made that aren't that appropriate, to some, but I have to remain focused on doing what God wants, what God directs and what God says.

Sometimes that means letting go of some of the anger, angst, irritation, and unnerving that has been dragging me down. I see things on a larger scale now. I'm not going to make a hasty decision without weighing the options first... Not going to hang onto something that hurt my feelings because in the grand scheme of things... it doesn't really matter. Everyone will have to answer to God for their actions. No reason for me to be mad at them. However, I can use precaution as to not set myself on that path again. Again, I understand that this is my decision. We all make mistakes.

But PLEASE, please, don't think I will adopt your thinking or reasoning when I am capable of coming up with conclusions on my own. The more that people try to "control" my way of thinking or say that I will "adapt" someone else's thought pattern, only lets me know that there is no trust there in my own solitary thinking. It's a bit demeaning.

Just remember, for all of you out there, that refuse to grow up, that participate in high school-like antics, what you put out there usually comes back to bite you hard. So be careful what you say, how you say it, and your response to other's words.

A bit of advice:

Live YOUR life,
do not worry about how others live theirs. 

PRAY often,
and thank God for all your blessings.

Complain LESS,
think before you speak.

Be a FRIEND,
not a judge.

Makes someone genuinely SMILE,
but not question your motive.

Be SELFLESS,
but don't be a doormat.

Be CONFIDENT in who you are
and in what you do.

RESPECT other's boundaries,
and set some for yourself.

If you have a free spirit, then FLY,
and realize that no one can hold you down if you don't let them.

LOVE without limits,
yet have control over your emotions.

Let the WORD of God speak to you, not overtalk Him.
Just LISTEN.

Once is Plenty

Just figured out that I'm ready to not depend on ANYONE but God and myself. Sorry if that hurts feelings, or irritates some. I'm tired of people voicing their opinions over and over again. Once is plenty. Any of you who know me know that repetitiveness is one of my pet peeves. Not sure what's in the horizon, but I can guarantee it will not be my current situation that I PUT MYSELF IN. No ones fault but my own. I realize this. I hate double standards and I feel that I've been thrown my share as of late. Please don't think that if you say one thing, but do another that it goes unnoticed. So, time to move on. I want God to speak to me. Not through anyone else, but me. And when He does, whether loud and clear or silently, I will be so thankful. 

Random Acts of Selfishness

The older I get the more I realize how some people are completely self-centered. And they usually don't even notice it. What causes people to be this way? Is it a lack of attention in their formative years? Or is it just society teaching us that we should be entitled to everything? I personally think it's a lack of Jesus Christ. But then again that's just my selfish opinion. Some of the ones that attend church every time the doors are open, are the ones who need Him the most. Just saying....

When a conversation is started, it shouldn't automatically turn around to be about you, should it? Should we always focus on self? No. 

I learned that when this does happen, it's usually in the best interest to stop the immediate conversation, and draw their attention elsewhere.

I'm not a doctor. I'm not a psychologist. I'm not a psychiatrist, and I'm sure as heck not a therapist, but from going to some counselors during the past 20 years, I have learned a little bit. Some learned, some self-taught, some brought on from experiences I've seen with my eyes.

One of the best pieces of advice that I've ever received was: don't react. It tends to fuel the fire and continue a cycle that doesn't need to be. As mom always said two wrongs don't make a right. So happy that I can control my reaction, or lack there of.

So as I get ready to head to sleep I'm going to let this go. I just wanted to write a little bit about it first and get it off my chest.

Done.

And a bit of wisdom to share:

(Simple, really...)

The Hardest Thing

You know what it is. The hardest thing to do is to accept God's will. Most of us want to be in so much control of our own lives. I am definitely one of those people. Society in a whole has shunned God AND His will. How do you expect to recover from something if our first instinct is to expect someone else to take care of it?

The Unknown

Why do we as humans worry about the unknown, when all we need to do is rely on our faith in God that He will take care of us? Not so simple. It took me going through quite a bit to fully understand the meaning of faith and knowing that God was in my corner... not just hoping He was, and hoping for the best.

I know I can be harsh at times. God knows my heart. I want to serve Him.